About the Book

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Enter the world of “Environmental Espionage” with Jayms Blonde. He’s gorgeous, gay, and ready to make the bad guys pay! As a former U.S. Navy Seal turned hairdresser and secret agent, Jayms can handle an Uzi like a teasing comb. With his trusty pedicurist, Precious Needmore, they lead the elite Pink Berets to save the planet from bad hair and bad air. Armed with bulletproof mousse, Uzi blow-dryers, and explosive peel-and-stick plastique nails, they make saving the world look fabulous!

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 5/5

“Hilarious, sexy, and a joy to read!”

– BOOK BEAT

 5/5

“Wildly enjoyable ride for readers!”

– KIRKUS DISCOVERIES

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“Wonderfully over-the-top!”

– CONNECTICUT POST

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“Riddled with playful innuendoes!”

– LOS ANGELES INDEPENDENT WEEKLY

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“Breezy and funny, Jayms is a hero for every gay boy!”

– HX MAGAZINE

Cabell makes the over-the-top zaniness and mock action-hero antics fun, and everything congeals into a wildly enjoyable ride for readers who enjoy the adventures of a muscle-bound, crime-fighting queen in tights. A super-silly, whirling first episode that will leave gay superhero fans scratching their heads—and eager for the next installment.

Hairdresser/secret agent Jayms Blonde is gay, and runs the Pink Berets, a group determined to halt the evil machinations of an anti-environment group. Breezy and funny, Jayms is a hero for every gay boy out there.

As an agent of STOP (Stop Terrorizing Our Planet), Jayms fights for the environment against the nefarious ZENRON Corporation (Zillionaire Environmental Nihilists Reinstating Oligarchic Nobility) with his arsenal of deadly cosmetic products, sassy comments and unquenchable libido. True to the Bond tradition, he has an impressive assortment of gadgets that includes a hair dryer that shoots Teflon bullets, explosive press-on nails and bulletproof hair mousse. The pièce de resistance is a backpack that sprouts wings so Jayms can fly around like a bumblebee — a very sexy bumblebee.

A hairdresser by trade and a secret agent by choice, Jayms Blonde and his faithful pedicurist Precious Needmore, lead the fight to save the planet from bad hair and bad air. Armed with bulletproof-mousse, Uzi blow-dryers, and hair-curler-hand-grenades, they rescue the dude-in-distress, and make saving the earth look fabulous.

Blonde’s foes are evil capitalists whose industries spike global warming and other eco-disasters. The hero and his cohorts work for STOP (Stop Terrorizing Our Planet), which is covertly funded by media celebrities. James Bond fought an organization known as SPECTRE (Special Executive for Counter-Intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge and Extortion) led by the supremely evil Ernst Blofeld. Blonde and STOP’s primary foe is ZENRON (Zillionaire Environmental Nihilist Reinstating Oligarchic Nobility). Cabell clearly had a ball transforming literature and film’s most promiscuous heterosexual spy into his very active gay hero.

THE BASIC PLOT is of two warring organizations. STOP (Stop Terrorizing Our Planet) is the environmental espionage group, led by the RuPaul-like Mama that employs Jayms. STOP's arch nemesis is ZENRON (Zealot Environmental Nazis Ruthlessly Obliterating Nature), a sinister cabal of billionaires who refuse to use their money to help Mother Nature. The only restraint used in "Jayms Blonde" is in regards to the sex. Amorous scenes are alluded to, not elucidated, and the most salacious thing in an illustration is the occasional bare bottom. "The definition of the book is 'the lights go off before the dicks come out,'" Cabell jokes. "It's salacious, but not X-rated.

Author Robert W. Cabell uses his flirtatious narrative to pack a serious pro-environment message. “I wanted Jayms Blonde to be an icon for the world, a cheerleader for the environment, not [solely] a gay icon,” Cabell said. Blonde’s mission: to save the world from bad hair and bad air. Riddled with playful double innuendoes, Cabell teases with snappy one-liners

Robert W. Cabell

About the Book

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THE HAIR-RAISING ADVENTURES OF JAYMS BLONDE